Having arguments with people you actually care about& what that leads you to

Having arguments with people you actually care about is always nothing but bad because it ends up hurt feelings for both of em..
So, the best way not to hurt and be hurt by your significant others is be considerate of the others' thoughts and feelings.
How great is it going to be if it works like that in real life!
Sadly, however, it is almost impossible (if possible by some wise people) to control your words and behaviours when you are mad.
For I had a bad argument with my friend, these sort of thoughts come up to my mind and I decided to leave them in writing.
I have to admit that I'm not very good with dealing with other people in general but what's really worse is that I actually suck at being considerate and nice to those who I care much about.
It confuses me every now and then whenever I feel so hurt after the bad words with them because I feel like a stupid child..
The friend that I spent most of time with recently told me a couple of thought-provoking statements.
Even if I appreciate what he's told, I've felt bad at the same time because I didn't want to defy what I've known and thought is not quite right.
The first argument started at a lunch table when I brought out the issue of my project: I'm recently interested in studying the Bible and Christianity stuff to figure out what I've learnt to believe and also to confirm the beliefs.
I'm aware that this topic of religions is very sensitive because not only it is a fundamental question to everybody but also everybody has different opinions on them since it hasn't quite been proven scientifically in this 'Science is the best' era.
The point of my arguments was that it's rather some Christian 'people' who get things wrong and it's not what Jesus taught Christians to do.
I find nothing wrong about Jesus's teachings: He was rather a very progressive man in His time, sexism for instance, the way some conservative Christian human men do to women are very different from the way Jesus treated women even like prostitutes: He treated both men and women equally.
I told my friend that he's looking only at secular aspects of the Christianity.
Of course, he got his points and I'm quite understood that he could get those ideas from some namely Christians who try to take advantage from his people owing to his authority.
Still, having this kind of arguments with people who I care about makes me question my beliefs, which is extremely confusing to me. Having said that, I think that I'm not yet quite either certain nor stubborn about my beliefs.
And, this could be seen positive in thinking that I can still open another door unbiased while this also could be extremely bad to feel relived and safe believing what I think I believe.

 



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